Welcome! My journaling journey

Hi everyone and welcome to The Journal Vibe blog!  I’m Claire and I’m the founder of The Journal Vibe, so I thought I’d start off with a little story about my journey that has brought me here and to share a bit more about me. 

I started keeping a diary when I began senior school at 11 years old.  I recently found an old one from 1991 when I was 14 years old and it’s full of teenage woe and angst.  I didn’t write every day, but I found it was a great way to rant about the unfairness of life, school, friends, family and unrequited love!  I could be truly honest in the pages of these books; it was quite liberating.  Writing got me through some tough times without me even realising.  I probably would’ve exploded without that space to rant my way through those teenage years of hormones, life following my parents divorce and all the politics of school.

When I read back through that old diary, it all came flooding back and I was so grateful I found journaling at that time.  I didn’t feel I had anyone to talk that honestly with, partly as I wouldn't have known how to word how I was feeling.  Without that opportunity to release everything I think my story would’ve been very different.

I’ve continued writing on and off all my life.  Not daily, sometimes with great long gaps in between, but it was always there when I really needed that honest space to be me.  I didn’t keep any journals or writing from my 20s, partly as I was a single mum working full time so there wasn’t much time to write but I do remember writing through the tough times and destroying a lot of it.  This in itself is very therapeutic!  Letting everything out and then letting it all go.

I started regularly journaling again in my 30s.  I was diagnosed with post-natal depression following the birth of my second son and during CBT it was suggested I journaled.  I wasn’t keen if I’m honest!  I could barely muster up the energy to get up in the morning let alone start writing for hours about how rubbish I was as a Mum and wife.  I hadn’t made the connection at this point on how writing had helped me through those previous tough times in my life and how it had been a form of healing therapy for me. 

I was persuaded to give it a go and so I started writing.  Once I started, words just poured out of me for pages and pages!  It was like a dripping tap had finally been turned on properly and everything came out in a gush.  I cried into the pages as the words kept coming and the burden started lifting.  I felt a physical release as well as an emotional one and it encouraged me to keep going.  I wrote daily, every morning, and gradually noticed my words were becoming more positive.

One day I noticed that instead of writing “I am so useless” I was writing “You are useless”.  Why is that significant?  Well, I felt that it was like my depression had realised I was taking control and so was desperately trying to put me down, to pull me back to a dark place.  I was separating myself from it and so it was attacking me because I was winning.  This was a huge turning point for me!  I had detached myself from depression through my writing.  Reading “You” instead of “I” made it someone else’s opinion and I didn’t have to listen or believe someone else’s opinion!

I genuinely believe that I wouldn’t have got to that point if I hadn’t started journaling regularly again, well it would’ve taken a lot longer if nothing else.  Through writing everything that was going on in my head with honesty and freedom to release it all somewhere safe, where I knew no one would judge me, try to cheer me up or offer advice, I was able to regain control of my mental health.  It gave me the strength I needed to start looking after myself, to love and value myself and create the new life for me that I wanted.

I continue writing most days now, I look forward to my time with myself!  I have several journals on the go, but they aren’t all written in every day.  I like to keep my topics separate as I find it easier to reflect through and monitor my progress (or lack of progress sometimes!), plus it helps my ADHD brain to focus in on what I’m going to write about.  I’d get too distracted if everything was in one book!

My main journals are my personal and business ones.  I also have a “public” journal, which is a page a day diary that is my record of our family life.  I write in this one most nights before I go to sleep, it helps to brain dump and let the day go but also I want these to be kept for my family when they are older.

My personal journal however is my private space, the place I can freely say what I think and feel knowing it won’t be read and is just for me.  I love this!  I am often surprised at things that come out of my head and I’ve learned so much about myself.  This learning is continuous and a constant, exciting journey that I embrace now.  The more I learn, the more confident I become as I have an understanding of myself.  This is absolutely priceless in my opinion.  It can be tough at times and take some time to work out, but I know the outcome will be personal growth and confidence so it’s worth doing.

I had a lightbulb moment a few years ago that I had completely lost myself, I didn’t know who I was anymore.  I felt that I had eroded and moulded myself on other people’s opinions and expectations of who I should be and how I should be acting “for a woman of my age”.  That hit me like a brick, and I traced it back to a few comments from two different women – who weren’t even in my life anymore!  That was a reality check and the beginning of creating who I wanted to be.  I wrote regularly, learning what I actually liked and disliked and what I truly wanted.  What business did I want to run?  Where did I want to live?  It’s been an interesting and fun journey since creating the woman I want to be and the life I want to live.  An ongoing journey!

My business journal is written in every day that I am working.  It helps me to remain focused on where I want my business to be headed, so I don’t drift off with shiny distractions – well, not as much as I would without it!  It helps me get clear in the morning on what I want to get done which helps me to be much more productive and organised.  I always have it to hand to write through any procrastination that occurs and keep me on track.

I truly believe the joy of journaling is there is no right or wrong way to do it, just yours.  It’s so personal that you can’t go wrong with it and no one else is going to read it so who judges it’s wrong?  There are many ways to journal, lots of techniques and advice out there, including tips from me, so play with it all and find what works for you.  For me, I like to vary it or I get bored easily – hence I have different journals and use different methods.  It keeps your writing varied and insightful.  Try different notebooks, pens, random pieces of paper or slate if that works for you!

My journaling journey has spanned over 30 years in some form or another.  I’ve journaled without realising I was journaling when I just brainstormed on loose bits of paper on what to do next!  I haven’t kept all my writing and that’s ok, the release was the important part.  I’ve journaled as and when it was right for me to do so, kept what I wanted to keep and did what was needed for me at the time – and I will continue to do this!  Who knows what my journaling will tell me in the future!

I became curious on how I could help my coaching clients deepen their self-development work and looked further into journaling more formally, completing a Journal Therapy diploma in 2020. This led me here, to incorporating the power of journaling into my coaching business and the birth of The Journal Vibe.

As well as my private business supporting women in life and business to become who they want to be, I'm very proud to be working with the NHS co-producing and co-facilitating journal courses for the MPFT Wellbeing and Recovery College, helping their students discover how they can harness the benefits of journaling for their wellbeing too.

To finish up, I’d like to give you a couple of journal prompts.  Don’t overthink the answers, just let your thoughts flow freely.  Let me know how you get on with them!

• How could journaling help you shape your journey?
• What would having a completely private place to truly express yourself freely and without judgement mean to you?