Is it imposter syndrome or is it self-sabotage?
The term imposter syndrome has never sat right with me. That’s not because I’ve gone through life with full confidence that I can do anything I set my mind to. I wish! I’ve had my doubts and fears. I’ve had times when I stopped myself from being successful. But it wasn’t because I felt that I was an imposter - undeserving and about to be caught out. I know I’m a good coach. I feel confident in my qualifications and experience and the progress I see my clients make.
But because imposter syndrome is thrown into the mix whenever anyone hesitates about what they’re doing, the term had been pointed to as a solution several times. It didn’t feel right so I journaled on it. What was really going on? Why was I holding myself back if not imposter syndrome?
I discovered it was a fear of change. I knew when I did the work, my business would be more successful and that would change my life. I was familiar with failure. I wasn’t familiar with success. So I found the term self-sabotage fit what I was experiencing much better. I know I’m good enough and capable of amazing things. It’s the outcome of success that was what I was afraid of and therefore avoiding.
I wouldn’t have figured out why I was stopping my success if I hadn’t questioned whether it was really imposter syndrome. It’s always worth exploring what you’re actually experiencing so you can give yourself the support you need to create the life you want to live. (Even if it’s unknown and scary!)
Imposter syndrome vs Self-sabotage
I’m pretty certain if you’re reading this, you think you might be stopping your own success in some way and you’re looking to find out why and what you can do about it. I’ve shared my honest experience. Now let’s explore yours. Are you self-sabotaging or does imposter syndrome fit the bill for you? Maybe neither! There’s no right or wrong answer, just yours.
Psychology Today describes imposter syndrome as:
“People who struggle with imposter syndrome believe that they are undeserving of their achievements and the high esteem in which they are, in fact, generally held. They feel that they aren’t as competent or intelligent as others might think—and that soon enough, people will discover the truth about them.”
Psychology Today described self-sabotage as:
“Behaviour is said to be self-sabotaging when it creates problems in daily life and interferes with long-standing goals.”
To be honest, both are labels and not actually needed in the grand scheme of things. What really matters is that you raise your awareness on what is stopping you from achieving your success. That might be neither of these!
Is this term helpful or an excuse?
Unpopular opinion alert! My issue with the term imposter syndrome (apart from its overuse and not describing my experience) is that it feels like giving in to the problem. It’s an easy excuse to hide behind, whether it’s accurate or not. There’s a real risk things stay as they are and you don’t ever succeed beyond the mental barrier you’ve put up.
I believe that coaching terms are supposed to help you progress. They’re meant to help you understand why you do what you do so you can choose how you move forward. It’s a starting point, not the end of the conversation. For example, when I found out I was self-sabotaging, I explored it through journaling. I answered questions like:
- What areas of your life are you self-sabotaging?
- How are you self-sabotaging?
- How is that affecting you?
- When did it start?
- What is causing you to self-sabotage?
- What if you had a different belief? How would that make a difference to you?
It gave me so much information about myself, what was really going on and the options I had for ditching the belief that was telling me that I had to sabotage my own success. I’m all for self-reflection and being more aware of your thoughts, feelings and behaviours. But it’s not going to have any real impact on your life unless you take action. Unless you make a different choice! You always have a choice.
Make a different choice
Realising something isn't working for you is a great first step. It’s easy to get stuck on autopilot, in survival mode and do things the way we always have done to just get through the day, every day. I know I have in the past! Now you’ve had the realisation, take your time to explore what’s going on. There’s no rush to come to conclusions.
Keep an open mind. What you are struggling with might not be what you or other people expect. You don’t need to fit perfectly into popular terms. Take what you find helpful and leave behind the rest. If a coaching term like imposter syndrome or self-sabotage gives you some kind of clarity or sparks an idea, that’s great. Don’t stop there! Keep going until you understand what’s behind it and what you’re going to do about it. What you’ve been doing isn’t working anymore so what are you going to change to get different outcomes? You might not figure it out the first time and that’s okay. You don’t know until you try!
If you aren’t fully happy with where you are now, make a different choice. Most importantly, make a choice that feels right for you. You can always come up with another option if that doesn't work out either.
We’re exploring how we might be stopping our own success and what we’re going to do about it in both of the journaling clubs in September. The daily journal prompts will help us to reflect on our beliefs and behaviours around success and then we’ll come together in the group sessions to discuss what we’ve discovered and our plans for moving forward. It’s the perfect combination of private exploration and feeling inspired and supported by a group of likeminded people and a coach.
In The Journal Vibe Club, the journaling membership for personal development, we’re looking at recognising what’s behind imposter syndrome, the source of the beliefs and behaviours fuelling it and what we’re going to do about it.
In the Find Your Vibe Business Club, the journaling membership for business development, we’re looking at self-sabotage, identifying the beliefs and behaviours standing in our way and making a different choice.
